I took a 'grey gap year' at 51 here's what I learned
After a hectic few years, Michelle Feeney, 60, took a break for the first time in her life. She shares her story with HELLO!
When I was 51, I decided it was time for a break.
I'd had a hectic few years, relocating to the UK from the USA, having my second child at 41, building a beauty division for PZ Cussons and going through a health scare. I'd had major surgery and felt it was time to take some time for myself before I made my next career move, so I embarked on my grey gap year.
I was a little anxious ahead of my break. I'd never taken off such a big amount of time and I wasn’t sure how I would relate to myself as a person, rather than a job title – and others struggled with the change too.
I would go to parties and people would ask what I was up to. When I answered 'nothing' they wouldn’t believe me – that's how intrinsic my work was to me.
Making a change
At the start of my grey gap year, it was difficult for me to break the habits of a lifetime. I used to sit at the computer first thing and check my schedule and emails, forgetting I was taking a break.
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Slowly, I was able to break free of the habits and act a little more as if I was on holiday, reading books in the daytime, reconnecting with my yoga practice, going to therapy and being more involved with my kids.
As is customary with a gap year, I spent some time lounging and enjoying being at home in Worcestershire, connecting with nature and enjoying driving my vintage Land Rover and living an analogue life rather than a digital one.
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Of course, no gap year is complete without travel. I had spent my career trotting around the globe, taking MAC Cosmetics to 40 different countries, but that was work and I wanted my next era of travel to be about journeying inwards and giving myself space and time just to 'be'.
So my family and I took a trip to Kenya. I wanted to show my kids how lucky they were, so we went on a xtrip that took us to areas of Kenya that not many people travel to.
Unfortunately, it ended with us all being held at gunpoint in the bush, kneeling on the floor like in the movies — traumatic.
What did I learn on my grey gap year?
Taking time to be alone reaffirms who you truly are as a person. It gives your brain a well-earned rest from stress, which was crucial in my fifties. Life as a top executive had me on high-alert which was not good for hormone balance and I needed to reset.
Time off helped me to identify ‘unresolved stuff’ which lurked in my heart and soul. I wanted to let go of any past experiences that bore a little scar and taking time to focus on this made all the difference.
READ: Why I refuse to let my age define me as I approach 70
My return to work
My gap year reset my life and left me raring to go with my next project, launching my fragrance brand Floral Street.
It also taught me the importance of keeping myself in check emotionally and physically in order to be the best I can be to those around me.
If your life situation permits, I wholeheartedly recommend taking a break, no matter your age.
My fifties was the right time for me to take my gap year because it gave me perspective and reminded me that as a working mum, you need leave space for yourself, otherwise it can have a physical impact.
If you can’t take a year, take a week for yourself or break down time to an afternoon to do just what you want - or indeed nothing!!
Visit HELLO!'s Second Act hub for inspiring stories of women living their best midlife.
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